


Triple Axel

by terunakamura



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8439229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terunakamura/pseuds/terunakamura
Summary: Yuuri is so in love with Victor that he gets too distracted to do his jumps. What better solution than to avoid the problem?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired by a couple lines in Twice's new song "TT". And then it just spiraled away into a fic that is much longer than I anticipated.

Recently it seemed as though Yuuri couldn’t get through a single practice without screwing up to the point of no return. Today was no exception.

Victor was helping him prepare his free skate program and it had been going well at first. His quad and double toe loop combination was improving. Even his quad Salchow was looking better when jumps had never been his strong point. It was always once he hit the second half of the program that ‘the issue’ occurred without fail.

‘The issue’ being that he would somehow make eye contact with Victor when he started his triple axel.

It had something to do with the combination of Victor always spectating from the same spot and the location Yuuri happened to start the axel from. But that brief moment of eye contact made Yuuri’s heart skip several beats and that was probably even more unhealthy than incorrectly landing the axel was for his ankles. Then came the domino effect.

An incorrect landing always made Yuuri wonder if he had disappointed or even annoyed Victor. Victor was the world’s top figure skater, he definitely wouldn’t have made such a mistake. The guilt of disappointing Victor would start to gnaw away at Yuuri’s mind, and his distraction from the task at hand would inevitably lead to more mistakes. The more mistakes, the more his mind would overanalyze the situation until at the end of the program Yuuri probably wouldn’t have even been able to do a single Salchow if he tried.

Yuuri dejectedly made his way off the ice, unable to meet Victor’s gaze for fear of seeing what sort of disappointed look he was wearing.

“Yuuri,” Victor started, his voice not sounding disappointed but instead encouraging, “You’re having some trouble with the second half. Is there something wrong with doing the triple axel at that point?”

‘ _Of course he knows exactly where the problem starts,_ ’ Yuuri’s mind unhelpfully piped up. ‘ _He probably knows exactly why too._ ’

The real reason eye contact with Victor messed up Yuuri’s entire routine? Yuuri was undoubtedly in love with the man. Finally being able to be around Victor in person had escalated a childhood celebrity admiration into full-blown romantic attraction.

Yuuri tried to shake that thought out of his head for a moment to be able to respond to Victor’s question. “No, it’s fine. I’m sure I can do the axel just fine. Just needs a little more practice.”

“If you’re sure, Yuuri. You’ll need to work hard and get this right before the competition.” Victor patted Yuuri’s shoulder reassuringly, and the accompanying smile made Yuuri’s heart flutter.

“I’m sorry. I swear, I’m usually not like this at all,” Yuuri said, humiliation from his failure mixing with the embarrassment of being so easily affected by Victor’s simplest actions.

“It’s fine. Bad days happen, right? I think that’s enough practice for today though. We’ll do better tomorrow.” They retreated back to the changing room and headed home quietly. As usual, he and Victor spent the rest of their evening together too.

It was that night, while he was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, that Yuuri knew he needed to make a decision on his course of action going forward. If things got any worse in practice, Yuuri was bound to come in last place at the next competition. That would definitely mean the end of his skating career

Even worse, losing almost ensured that Victor would leave. Yuuri wasn’t about to let Victor walk away just after starting to work with him.

He supposed the most obvious course of action would be to confess his feelings to Victor. If his feelings weren’t suppressed anymore he’d probably be able to look Victor in the eye without having a mini-heart attack. But how would Victor react to that? Sure, Victor flirted jokingly with him on an almost daily basis, but real feelings? ‘ _He’d probably hate me._ ’

Therefore, that option was a no-go.

If the root cause of his growing feelings for Victor was their constant proximity to each other, then perhaps he should stop seeing Victor outside of practice? Being away from him could make his feelings go away. But the thought of avoiding Victor made Yuuri’s heart ache just thinking about it. If he had to pick between being around Victor just for practice and not seeing him at all after losing the competition, the choice was obvious. ‘ _He’s probably sick of seeing me so much anyway._ ’

Yuuri buried his face into his pillow and sighed. Tomorrow he’d try out his plan and see if it helped. Maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult.

 

~~~

 

Avoiding him turned out to be hard, not just because it hurt Yuuri’s heart but also because Victor was so persistent.

That morning Victor had wanted to have breakfast together with Yuuri. He’d been able to avoid Victor’s wake-up call by getting up an hour early. But then Victor had gone all around the onsen calling Yuuri’s name, even stopping all of the customers around to ask if they had seen him. The only way Yuuri was able to dodge him was by hiding in one of the storage closets on the upper floor. His embarrassment only grew when his sister saw him tumble out of the closet after he’d heard Victor finally leave.

He’d walked to the rink with his guard up, worried that Victor would pop up out of nowhere. When a neighbor tapped his shoulder he’d yelped in surprise so loudly that the entire block of people around stopped to stare. Yuuri put his head down and ran the rest of the way there.

When he finally arrived for practice, Victor surprisingly didn’t ask him about the avoidance. There was no way Victor hadn’t noticed his absence, and he wondered what Victor thought was going on.

They warmed up as usual and Victor had him skate his free skate routine. Yuuri felt a little more on edge than previous practices as he started, but the first half of the program passed normally. Finally, he came to the triple axel. He could see Victor in the split second before the jump and to his surprise Victor wasn’t looking at him, he was focused on something off the rink. No eye contact.

He landed the triple axel without issue.

Yuuri felt relief wash over him as he continued on with his program. The rest of the second half still wasn’t excellent, but he wasn’t making quite as many mistakes. He felt himself tense up at the last jump anyway, positive that he’d have to make an error there after doing so well so far. The landing was shaky, but not bad enough for him to feel guilty.

He heard Victor applauding as he finished. “That was the best yet, Yuuri! Excellent!”

A smile spread across Yuuri’s face. “You think so?”

Victor nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Let’s run it one more time.”

They continued on. Yuuri was so pleased with the thought that his plan was starting to work that he barely registered his surrounding as he skated, and that stopped him from making eye contact with Victor in the proceeding attempts. Finally he was making progress again.

By the end of their practice, while Yuuri was still not nearly up to par, neither of them could deny that this was an improvement. When the pair came out of the changing room, Victor clapped him on the shoulder.

“So what did you do differently?” Victor asked, voice full of cheerful curiosity.

He shrugged. “I d-don’t know. Maybe it was just luck.” Yuuri Katsuki was not known to be a good liar. Victor eyed him suspiciously, clearly not convinced.

“What are you hiding, Yuuri?” Victor wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders playfully making his face go slightly red. “How about we take a bath together at the onsen and you tell me then, hm?”

Yuuri’s face dropped. He wasn’t supposed to let himself spend time with Victor. Reluctantly he pulled away from the other man. “Maybe another time? I think I’m going to go visit Minako.”

Victor looked disappointed. “If you say so….”

Parting ways with Victor on the way out of the rink only made Yuuri’s heart feel heavy. He spent his time with Minako quietly, even as she pestered him continuously with questions about what was wrong. He finally left to go home fairly late at night and basically passed out immediately in his bed.

 

~~~

 

Several days had passed since Yuuri had started staying away from Victor.

The good news was that his skating had marginally improved. His quads were definitely becoming more manageable, and his ankles didn’t hurt as much after he landed them. Somehow he’d managed to not make eye contact with Victor before the axel anymore as well.

The bad news was that Yuuri was miserable. He’d barely been at home other than to sleep. Minako was too busy to keep him company every day after practice, and he’d started to wander around town after practice instead so he wouldn’t bother her. But now he was incredibly lonely. Having Victor around all day had made him feel like he was spending his time well, and he’d enjoyed everything they had done together. Alone he didn’t know what to do.

His plan had actually backfired. Rather than lessening his feelings for Victor, he just had the same feelings but without the comfort of actually being with him. This had started to affect his skating in an entirely different way.

They had been practicing for hours, and Yuuri knew something was off since Victor had hardly spoken a word to him.

“Yuuri, stop for a moment,” Victor called to him as he was about to finish his routine.

Yuuri nervously skated up to Victor. “Is something wrong?”

“Sort of.” Victor sighed and crossed his arms. “Before you were performing with such a great atmosphere and you really put so much emotion in your skating. Now that’s gone.”

Yuuri shrunk into himself a little, painfully aware at his lack of emotion.

“Sure, you’ve improved technically,” Victor continued, “but what’s a performance without any real feelings behind it? It’s really just falling flat.”

There was the disappointment Yuuri had been afraid of. It was entirely his fault of course, he’d known he wouldn’t live up to Victor’s expectations one way or another.

He lowered his head in shame. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to work on it, I promise.” He could feel his eyes stinging, signaling tears soon to come. He desperately tried to resist them. Crying in front of Victor was probably the last thing he would ever want.

“Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was serious as he came forward and took both of Yuuri’s hands in his. “Is there something going on I can help with?”

Wouldn’t it just be easier to tell Victor the truth? If he could just bring himself to confess to Victor he could just move on. His heart was beating so fast it was painful and his head was starting to hurt. He was too afraid of the rejection he knew would come. Yuuri couldn’t do it.

Yuuri didn’t dare to try and speak for fear of his voice cracking. Instead, he just shook his head.

Victor didn’t push him any further and nodded in return. He released Yuuri’s hands and backed up. “Let’s go home now, okay? Maybe a bath is a good idea?” In his current state, saying no would have probably been too much for Yuuri to handle.

Surprisingly when they returned home, Victor didn’t try to follow him into the hot spring and had simply given Yuuri a smile before heading to his own room. That smile was more grounding than Victor could have ever realized.

He soaked in the bath for a long while, trying to clear his mind but failing. He needed a way to get the emotion back into his routine.

That was how he found himself calling Yuko at a little past ten at night, asking her to unlock the ice rink just for a little longer.

Maybe it was a bad idea to skate on his own late at night in a fragile emotional state, but it really was Yuuri’s only coping method. As he skated in lazy circles around the rink, Yuuri felt the need to acknowledge his feelings directly.

Yes, he was in love with Victor, and no, that wasn’t a bad thing. It didn’t matter what anyone else would think about the subject, his feelings were completely valid. He needed to stop holding his feelings back or they were going to crush him. And if there was any time to be honest, it was now. There was no one at the rink but him, it was okay to be open about it here.

‘ _I need to skate my routine with the same emotion I would confess with. I created this whole routine based after that idea._ ’ Yuuri was filled with the determination to do his routine properly.

He pushed himself forward into the starting position for his routine. He imagined Victor standing before him and gathered up the courage to verbally state his feelings for the first time.

“Victor, I love you so much.”

With that he started into the beginning of the program. With the image of Victor supporting him in his mind, his starting quad double combination jump was a breeze. The following quad Salchow was no issue as well. Any time he started to feel disheartened his simply said his feelings aloud once more.

“I love you.”

It would have been mortifying if anyone could hear him, but at the current moment it felt like a weight lifting off his shoulders.

The triple axel barely registered in his mind. He was skating for Victor and he’d be damned before he let anything stand in the way of that. Axel, loop, Salchow. His confidence grew more and more. Every jump just flew by.

When he struck his final pose, his heart soared. He _could_ do his program. Not just the technical aspect or just the atmosphere of his performance, but both together.

Barely giving himself a moment’s rest, he started into the beginning again. He would not lose this momentum and he would practice until the perfect performance was engraved in his heart and mind permanently.

He was flying through the program again, not a care in the world. Until his final quad, where he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. There was Victor, walking along behind the boards. His heart and chest constricted in fear.

He didn’t manage a quad, only a triple. But while he was landing in his panic, his skate hit the ice at an angle, twist his ankle until Yuuri could feel nothing but pain. He crashed down to the ice, throwing his arm out in an attempt to catch himself but only causing a burst of white hot pain in his wrist too. He couldn’t stop a loud cry of pain from escaping his lips.

“Yuuri!” He heard Victor call out from the sidelines. Curled up on the ice, he couldn’t bring himself to look up. It felt like almost instantly he was being pulled up into Victor’s arms and carried off the ice.

Victor tried to position him carefully on the nearest bench, pulling off the jacket he was wearing to make a cushion to keep Yuuri’s ankle elevated.

“Yuko keeps cold packs and the first aid kit in the office…” Yuuri said through gritted teeth. The pain was still bad, but it wasn’t completely unbearable as the moment it occurred. Victor hurried back with items. One cold pack he passed to Yuuri for his wrist, the other Victor himself held against Yuuri’s ankle.

“Did you hit your head when you fell? Are you feeling dizzy?” Victor looked more dismayed than Yuuri had ever seen him.

“No, I caught myself with my arm….”

Victor sighed in relief. “I’m glad. You could have had a concussion.” Victor’s gaze suddenly turned stern. “I know you have enough skating experience, but you should have someone with you if you’re going to be practicing jumps. What if you were unconscious?”

Yuuri felt tears prickling at his eyes again. If he thought he was disappointing Victor before, this was much worse. “Y-Yuko was here before… I told her she could go because I wasn’t going to do anything difficult….”

Victor shook his head, clearly frustrated. “Then why did you try your routine?”

“How else am I going to improve? It’s my own fault I can’t practice properly when I’m with you!” Yuuri paused, heart beating so fast it was almost as painfully as his wrist and ankle. He couldn’t hold back. “I… I’m in love with you, Victor. I can’t help it….” Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, ready to take whatever rejection Victor would give him.

What he was not expecting was to feel a palm rest against his cheek. He flinched instinctively at the touch and heard Victor sigh. “I know, Yuuri. Don’t you know I love you as well?”

“W-what?” Yuuri’s eyes flew open. When he saw the soft look Victor was giving him, the tears he’d been holding in started to fall. Victor brushed them away gently. The next thing he knew Victor’s lips were on his, even more gentle than he could have ever imagined. It ended faster than he would have liked.

“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I didn’t think it was bothering you so much or I would have been more up front with it.” Victor bumped their foreheads together gently. “Maybe we should work together next time you’re worried, hm?”

Yuuri could barely process this turn of events. “How did you know…?”

Victor smiled. “Yuuri. _Everyone_ knows. Maybe you shouldn’t keep a photo of the person you like on your desk.” He let out a laugh and Yuuri blushed. “Still, I should have realized that was the problem sooner. So you can blame me too.”

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably on the bench, only to jostle his wrist in the process. He winced and Victor quickly checked the affected area.

“It’s starting to bruise, but it doesn’t seem to be a bad sprain. I’ve seen much worse happen after a bad jump. Your ankle isn’t bad either, but it’ll take a few days before you can skate again.” Yuuri was ready to protest but Victor held up a hand to stop him. “You need some rest anyway, and this will give you a chance to make up for avoiding me. Don’t think I didn’t know!” Yuuri shrunk back at the rather piercing look he received, but it only lasted a moment. Without warning Victor lifted him up once more, one arm supporting his back and the other under his knees. “Let’s get you home now.”

Yuuri was tempted to scramble away from Victor, knowing that if anyone with a camera saw them like this then the internet would never let it go. It was only concern for his injured limbs that stopped him. Luckily it was so late by then that no one interrupted them.

Yuuri suddenly realized something. “Victor?”

“Yes, Yuuri?”

“How did you know I was at the ice rink?”

 “I was waiting in your room for when you were done with your bath, but you never showed up. I just had a hunch you’d be there.” Victor grinned. “Next time just invite me along.”

Once they arrived home, Yuuri’s parents made a fuss as their injured son was brought in. Victor stayed with him in his room that night and Yuuri hadn’t felt so cared for in a long while.

 

~~~

 

Several weeks later at his first competition, Yuuri made eye contact with Victor as he started his jump. He failed to do a triple axel.

 

He did a quad instead.

**Author's Note:**

> If you noticed any errors please let me know!


End file.
